This experience started out as a dream, but turned into a lucid experience along the way. As the dream unfolded, I could see the dream state and the effort my egos were putting into making sure I remained asleep (i.e. in a dream state) so they could get their own way. The end result was a fight for awareness and also clarity. I did not win the battle unfortunately, but I woke up determined to keep trying with the little willpower I have, to continue understanding my own inner nature, one that is affected by ego states on a daily basis, something I had learned I could do based on the work of Belsebuub.
It all started with an innocent scenario. In the dream, I was with friends, walking through a 2 bedroom apartment they were looking to purchase near the university where their daughter was studying.
The person showing them through was informing them of the layout and highlighting some of the features of the apartment. I walked around with them, but was more in the background, simply there with them.
The real estate agent mentioned that it was a 2 bedroom apartment. In that instant, I began to question what he had said “this is a 2 bedroom apartment?“, “it looks rather small“, “where is the second bedroom?” and so on…
As I questioned the layout of the apartment, and moved around it looking for this second bedroom, I started to open up a door which lead into a lounge room. It seemed to come off the kitchen area. I walked into the lounge area looking for more doors as this would mean another room is behind it. I came across a door, as I grabbed its handle, it became a bifold door.
I paused briefly, slightly baffled by this instant ‘change’, which caught my attention and brought on a slight lucidness. I proceeded to open this door, but it suddenly became a 4 panel door. The dream scene kept changing, as though there was intent to keep me in a confused state, locking me into dreaming. I could feel this intent to keep me in a dream state for as long as possible, to lull me back into dreaming, going along with the projections and ideas unfolding.
As I continued to open this door I expected to find a room behind it. This was not the case. There was a wall behind it, not a room. This only helped me to become more lucid as the whole scene struck me as ‘odd’, ‘unusual’, ‘weird’ too. I could feel myself slowly lifting out of the dream state.
It seems the efforts to keep me locked into this dream state intensified also. As my lucidity increased, reinforcements were brought in.
It seems the real estate agent noticed my ‘lucidness’ and came over to speak to me, trying to convince me that the apartment was designed that way on purpose, to give the illusion of being a bigger space, and that the 2nd bedroom was further along.
I could feel this heavy (almost hypnotic) energy creep into my lucid state as he spoke to me, trying to make me drift back into a sleep mode. I could sense an intensified effort to make me enter and continue to remain in the dream state again.
I could tell I was disturbing the ‘status quo’ so to speak. As I became more and more lucid, I could feel the dream state lifting, the projection of the dream to be shifting, decaying, falling apart as I became more and more lucid.
I was familiar with this feeling. I knew I was challenging my own inner nature made up of multiple egos that create the dream state at night — and the daydream state during the day! This ego wanted to keep me in that hypnotised, hazed feeling of sleep so it could continue enjoying being in its own mode.
In my attempts to gain more clarity, I could feel the hypnotic effect lifting and a sense of lucidity coming over me. Unfortunately, I could also feel this ego (or my internal state) battle against my own will, to keep me in this slumber so it can do as it pleased.
Throughout the experience, I did not feel as though this dream scenario came from an encounter with a negative entity. This felt more like my own inner nature fighting me so that I would avoid becoming conscious in the astral.
Perhaps there was a negative entity nearby, watching this unfold, but I did not feel the presence of one in the dream or nearby, as I can usually get a different sensation or signal in my body if there is a negative being around. It is hard to explain this, but there seems to be an internal ‘negative being radar’ that lets me know if I am about to be ambushed and that I need ‘help’ from benevolent beings that are found in the Astral.
Anyway, I tried to challenge this ego as best I could. I started to say “I know what’s going on, this is a dream, I am in a dream, I am trying to wake up in this dream and you are trying to stop that from happening.” This figure froze, as though I had just called his ‘bluff’ and he was dumbfounded. I continued to say “I know I am dreaming, I am not falling for this, I am in the astral.”
I shifted my focus from my head (where I felt all this intense energy swarming), down to my heart, so that I could remain calm, centred, clear and connected to the lucid feeling, to keep moving into a clearer and clearer state.
I actually ended up waking up in my physical body as the dichotomy brought more tension into my head and I could not remain in the astral. Those ego intentions were stronger than my intent or Will.
This experience reminded me how tricky egos (or negative beings) can be and also how they can manipulate us more than we think or give them credit.