Since discovering Belsebuub’s courses and books more than 10 years ago, I have been putting efforts into gaining more self knowledge; learning and understanding about my own inner nature, how my perspective and my judgment can be clouded by thoughts, emotions and inner drives that seem to be so much a part of me. I do my best to use the astral and daily life to learn more about myself in this way.
One recent experience had an impact on me, for many reasons (which are difficult to explain). The experience provided me with information about what I needed to do or keep focusing on, in order to continue to get more insights and understanding about myself. The experience took place in the astral.
Coming out of My Body
I had consciously split (I recognized the sensation) but I found it hard to come out of my body. I usually float up or out very easily, but not this time. I grabbed onto the edge of my bed so that I could roll out instead (I’ve had to do this on the odd occasion). I managed to sit up on the edge of my bed. I felt this heaviness in the air; it caught my attention. I did not sense any negative beings or sinister energy lurking about (as I am familiar with these too) so I kept a clear and relaxed mind to not hinder or shorten the experience by ending up back in my body.
Exploring the Room
I looked behind me, over my left shoulder to see my physical body lying there, sleeping. I looked to my side to see my bedside table with my dream journal opened to a blank page. I continued to look in front of me, at the wall with the picture frame, I turned towards my right to look at the door of my room, and further on, at the wall opposite my bed where there was furniture. It all looked to be the same as it is in the physical. I sat asking for guidance and help from my Divine Mother, I waited patiently for a response. There are times when I will be taken somewhere, either flying through the air or down through the earth. This time, nothing happened.
I could feel the dullness of night in the air, like you would if you were to wake up before daybreak. The room was dimly lit but I could still see details. There are times when a light is shining through or a different kind of brightness exists, but not this time. It was simply the dullness of night as though no moon was shining.
Surrounded by Heaviness and Disorder
I got the sense to stand up, to walk around, but this heaviness in the air continued. I have not had this feeling often but recognized it to mean that I have to be careful, to keep my mind clear otherwise I would end up returning physically to my body. I had to grab onto the edge of my bed with one hand and reach out to touch the wall with my other hand, so that I could make my way around. I continued to make my way around the room, towards the study area.
I continued to grab onto the rail of my bed as I walked on. I could hear a musical tune coming from the direction of the study, as though I had left an electronic device on. I grabbed onto the door frame as I walked into the study to see paperwork as I had left it on the desk, and some additional items that I had not placed on the desk. I kept looking around this room and noticed that it was unkempt, messy and cluttered. It seems I had even left the computer on, which was showing some random mouse clicks on the blue screen and icons. This surprised me, but I remained calm so as not to get my mind caught up in what I was seeing/ witnessing and therefore find myself back in my body too soon.
From this room, I made my way into the lounge. I had to keep grabbing onto furniture as I made my way slowly towards that room. Once there, I was faced with the same image, one of an unkempt, untidy room. I felt the need to sit down while still looking around and taking it all in. I was not sure what this was about, but kept asking for help to understand what it all meant. I sat on the couch, supporting my head, while my arm extended on the armrest. I waited patiently to be shown what it all meant. My mind wanted to get engaged, to get involved, to try to solve this puzzle, this mystery. Instead, I simply waited.
A Feeling of Understanding
My patience paid off…Suddenly, a realisation filtered through, an understanding about what I was being shown, something I had to do, to keep abreast of.
I realised from the untidiness of the room and the bits and pieces of daily routines that remained behind, how I could lose my sense of self if I became too identified.
I felt that this experience was showing me that if I let myself be consumed by the events of daily life I could get lost in them as well as lost within all the tasks/jobs that need doing that may seem important at the time but are being done with a lack of awareness and self-observation. With this realisation I found myself back in my body. I felt that I had been given a clue about what to keep my focus on, what to keep working towards, and to use the techniques for self-observation, awareness, mindfulness, and other such practices I’d learned of from Belsebuub’s work more often throughout the day.