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How a Fear Prevented Me from Meeting My Father’s Ghost

Experience submitted by Lucia Beznik

I have always felt very close to my father. We would often hold discussions about the nature of God and the possible existence of other realms/dimensions of the universe – mostly from a scientific point of view.

Towards the end of his life though, seeing me trying out astral projection and talking about my experiences of the astral plane based on what I had learned from exploring Belsebuub’s work, he started pondering on these things a bit deeper and after some time even had his own spontaneous and very clear lucid dream experience, which left him quite baffled, since he didn’t expect these things to feel so real.

A Sudden Farewell

It was around this time, when he got his second heart attack. By a mysterious arrangement of circumstances, I was visiting my parents’ house at that time, just planning to leave the next day. My parents went to a grocery store, to get some things for my travel, and in that grocery store they met all kinds of people my father hadn’t seen for quite a while and he got to talk to them. On their way back, while driving, he started to feel unwell and upon arriving home he collapsed.

Me and my Father

My mother immediately called an ambulance, and I started praying to the Divine. I asked for help for my father to have more time in this life, or whatever was best for him. I kept praying and asking for quite a while… When the ambulance arrived, they managed to resuscitate my father and took him to their vehicle that stood in front of our house.

However, for a while the ambulance vehicle was not leaving. I kept watching it as it stood there and then suddenly, I got an intuitive feeling of my father being happy, and hovering above the vehicle.

I felt intense love towards him at that moment and imagined hugging him in my mind. Later on we learned that my father passed away in the ambulance vehicle exactly at that time, as the medical personnel tried to resuscitate him again in vain.

A Ghostly Visit in the Astral Plane

That night or the night after, I found myself conscious in the astral plane. I didn’t do any specific astral projection attempts before going to sleep, just suddenly realised I was lying in my bed in the astral. Everything was super clear, and exactly the same as in the physical world.

It was dark in the room, and I heard the rain outside and the winds howling. I got up from my bed and wondering how crisp and real everything was, I left my room and planned to explore the house.

Suddenly, I heard my father’s voice calling me from the downstairs of the house. He just called me by my name, and then asked if I was going to sleep and if I had switched off all the lights (something he always used to ask).

However, being aware that he had just passed away, I got really scared. I knew it was not my “real father” so to speak, but just his ghost and I didn’t know what I could expect from such an apparition. I knew I could go downstairs and try to talk to him and explore, but I suddenly started feeling like I didn’t really want to see whatever he had “become.”

Frightened as never before in the astral plane, I deliberately decided to go back to my body and end the experience, something I have never done before or after!

I still remember literally “jumping back” to my physical body, feeling my astral body slowly merging with it, with the legs being the last, and then waking up. The physical room looked exactly as in my astral experience, the wind was howling and it was raining outside, and I continued being very afraid.

I remember trying to apply the method for eliminating negative inner states I learned on Belsebuub’s courses, but I was too identified with the fear and so it didn’t work very well in that moment, so I just decided to pray for protection, which gave me some comfort and after some time I managed to fall asleep.

Looking Back

lucia_father_youngIn the morning, I remembered the experience very well and felt very remorseful for wasting such a wonderful opportunity for meeting with my father’s ghost. I thought of all the things I could have asked him about, and if nothing else, just hugging him again. But the opportunity was gone, and I never met him consciously in the astral plane afterwards.

I also realized how this opportunity was most likely an answer to my previous intensive prayers to the Divine, who could have tried to help me in this way to learn, and to meet my father once more.

  • Yes, I hope that you will be able to meet your father’s essence someday Lucia. I’m glad that practicing the spiritual work helped you to deal with the sudden shock of your father’s death in a better way. Although you were not able to be with him at the time of his passing, it’s good that you had the experience of a final farewell at the moment he passed away in the ambulance.

    It’s interesting how events seemed to move for him to pass away at that particular time, the day before you were planning to leave after your visit. This also connected together with the seemingly inconsequential event of your parents being in the supermarket at a particular time, which then gave your father the opportunity to talk with some of the people in his life for the last time.

    • Adding to your last paragraph Michael – which leads one to wonder how much of even the mundane things in our lives are likely to be arranged ‘from above’ and have deeper meanings to them. It seems like a beautiful instance of Divine love and mercy that Lucia’s dad did get to have that final interaction with his friends in the shop and that Lucia was visiting them at the time too.

    • Hi Michael, thank you very much for your comments. And yes, I was thinking the same thing – how many “consequences” happen when a person is dying, to give them a chance to say good bye to some people, to be around those they love and so on… My mom also said that before they went to the supermarket, she saw my dad standing by the open window, looking at the garden and the surroundings of the house with a dreamy face. At that time she didn’t pay too much attention to it even though his facial expression was very unusual, but looking back, she said something within him must have been looking around at everything he built and designed, as if trying to remember every little detail of it.

  • Thanks for sharing your story Lucia. I’m sorry to hear that you missed the opportunity to say a final farewell to your father. It shows how important it is to tackle fear, as it can easily sabotage experiences that could otherwise provide us with useful opportunities to learn.

  • I am sorry to read about your loss Lucia, and I wish you and your family lots of love, strength and happiness in your lives.

    Thanks for sharing your sad yet beautiful experiences with your father. From your account, I’m sure that his love has been passed on to you.
    Your pictures and your heart felt story really shows the deep love between you and your father, and it was certainly very special to read.
    Actually there were so many inspiring parts to your story. I was particularly very touched by your experience/connection when father passed on.

    It was so magical to read that your father took such interest in your spiritual work and I really think he was rewarded by experiencing the astral plane.
    I also couldn’t help but wishing that your father had more time, but I know that he’s in great care with the Gods from here on.
    From your account it really feels like he will get an opportunity with this great work in the next life. Do you have bothers and/or sisters, any new born babies in your family since he passed on, no need to answer me 🙂

    It’s great that Belsebuub’s teachings have helped you in so many ways and well done for sharing this to help others.

    Wishing you all the strength with the fear issue.

    • Thank you John. I think my father was one of the old-fashioned people who loved nature, people and everything natural. He could not really relate much to the modern society with all its computers, electronic gadgets and emphasis on technical stuff, so in this way I felt like maybe it was better for him to move on and have a new life rather than trying to fit the society he no longer understood.

      I certainly hope he will get his chance in the next life to maybe have more opportunity to develop the spiritual side of him. And yes, my brother had a baby girl after my father passed away, and my mother and I have been speculating if maybe my father could have become this baby, but she is now 10 and so far I haven’t spotted any similarities at all. 🙂

  • Thank you for sharing this Lucia. I can understand your fear about seeing your father’s ghost. After my dad passed away I used to dream about him a lot. Usually, the dreams took place inside our house, and I think it must have been his ghost I interacted with, except for once or twice. But somehow it’s not a nice feeling to be thinking of the ghost of someone you love very much. At least I didn’t like it. I wanted to meet the real him, his essence. I didn’t want to meet an empty kind of thing that wasn’t really him. It did feel scary to think about.

    I love that you felt your dad’s presence as he left the ambulance. That you felt he was happy, and sent him love.

    Once I had a dream about my dad, where we were flying together above a beautiful landscape. There were beautiful colors, and we were laughing together. I felt he was finally happy, and free. The place also felt designed just for him.

    • I love what you shared about your experience with your dad flying above the beautiful landscape. Sounds like a very special gift you were given, see the place where your dad maybe was. Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • That’s a beautiful experience Anne Linn, I’m glad for you that you had that. It does seem rare to interact with a person’s essence after they’ve moved on; I’ve only ever interacted with ghosts in dreams.

  • Im sorry to hear about the passing of your father Lucia, Thanks for that very personal and emotional experience, its strange how the mind and our emotions can sometimes prevent us from doing things in the astral and waste opportunities to gain greater understanding

    • Thank you Richard, yes I feel I could have learned a lot about how a person operates after death if I didn’t get scared. Because of the Divine help present, and the fact it was my father’s ghost, I think I could have understood the process of dying on a deeper level.

  • Hi Lucia,
    I can only imagine how striking it would have been to have heard your father call you in the astral that night, so soon after he had passed away, and realizing this all at the same time. You know, I’ve seen many times how when something takes me by surprise, I react with fear, even though whatever it may be may not be something to be afraid of at all.
    It feels like this animal-instinct taking over in this flight-or-fight response scenarios, and common sense/rationality/consciousness gets thrown out of the window, and panic sets in instead.. So I understand your reaction, but I can also imagine how much regret you must have felt that morning for not having seen him.. But it seems that during that moment of intense prayer, you were able to tap into something higher and pass him all your love as well as feel his. The loss of your father must have been a very difficult time to go through, and I hope that the love you felt on that day and those prayers helped you heal.

    • Hi Geraldine,

      Thank you, yes it was quite difficult to face my father’s sudden death, but in the same time knowing about the spiritual helped me to cope with it a great deal.
      Sometimes I wish I could see where he is now, especially if he has been born again, and how he looks like now, etc… 🙂 Its mainly curiosity I guess, but also wishing he is safe and can continue learning.

      • I can relate to the wish to make sure your father is safe and will maybe even have the opportunity to take up a spiritual work in another life. I also wish the same for people I know who have not had the opportunity in this life.

  • Lucia that was a heartwarming story about you and your father. It sounds like you had valued the precious time you had with him while he was alive. It’s interesting how you describe how that fear popped up like it did when you least expected it to after his death. The hardest part it seems to me is letting go and accepting the loss. I know that was something I was struggling with when I lost my grandfather. On several occasions after his death, I would see his ghost in the astral but he didn’t say anything or recognize me. Finally in a dream I was told by the ghost that he was no longer my grandfather and at that instant I knew that he had already moved on.

    • Wow, that’s interesting Paty that the ghost told you he was not longer your grandfather! I wonder if maybe it came as a help?
      Thanks to knowing about the spiritual phenomena, it was not as hard for me as it would have been otherwise. Interestingly, I found it was not necessarily my father as such I was missing in the few years to come, but that kind of force our fathers represent for us – the caring and protective masculine aspect in our lives. I realised how important it was to have it in life, especially for young children.

  • I can understand why you would have felt like that Lucia. Seems like you already connected to your real father just after he left his body, and got to give him a hug! But then the possibility of meeting his ghost, his mental energy and habits, without his essence, well that’s different – you knew he wasn’t really there and I can imagine also being quite fearful of that. Sure, you would have been able to learn something about what remains of us in the astral after death, but it doesn’t sound like you would have had that heartwarming connection that sometimes is possible through meeting with the recently deceased.

    A few years after learning about the astral, a lovely old man I’d got to know only for about 6 months – my neighbour – passed away. I remember feeling and ‘seeing’ him above me, and this kind of ‘knowingness’ pass between us. At first I thought it may have been in part my imagination, but later I’d learned he’d died at that time. I also felt the other interaction – a kind of empty feeling between my grandmother’s ghost and I – knowing it was just her shell repeating her habits that I was seeing.

    • That’s quite inspiring the interaction and knowingness you shared with your neighbour as he died Ella. Thanks!

    • That’s interesting Ella, thanks for sharing! Its nice how you were able to feel this bond with your old neighbor to such an extent that he actually visited you after his death. I find it very interesting how sometimes we can feel this sudden bond and understanding even with strangers. Somehow, I also noticed some old people may be more open than many young ones. Maybe because their life is ending and they are not so much fascinated with everything going on around them anymore, not sure…
      I remember once sitting in a waiting room at the doctor’s office, and there was an older woman sitting next to me, and she started speaking to me and I replied, and so on, and suddenly, I didn’t even know how, we were talking about quite esoteric topics like other dimensions, just out of the blue. She looked like it was definitely not her everyday topic to talk about, but in the same time she was totally enjoying the discussion and seemed to be relieved to be able to talk about something like that, even though we talked in a “hypothetic scenario” style.

      The experience with your grandmother is also interesting – I also recall seeing my grandmother in quite a few dreams after her death, and can relate to what you are saying.

      • I’ve also found this Lucia. How with older people, especially of a previous generation (and even more so if they’re from a rural area) are much more natural in striking up a conversation that has substance to it with someone they’ve just met. Like there is a natural trust as one person to another. Whereas nowadays people seem a lot more to themselves and suspicious, and hidden in their phones 🙂
        And yes also as you say, many older people are actually more open to supernatural things, having had some time to think for themselves beyond what they were catered by society to believe perhaps. I always love to hear some of their findings or insights into life.

    • it’s interesting how there was a contrast between those two interactions Ella. You would think that it would be the other way round, as you had known your grandmother all your life, whereas you only knew the neighbour for 6 months.

      On a similar note, I have sometimes been suprised at the regularity of the appearance of certain people in my dreams. Some people seemed to have a bigger impact on my life and yet I don’t dream of them so often. Whereas others, who I haven’t really thought about much in my waking life over recent years can crop up regularly.

      I understand that different people can represent aspects of my own inner states, but sometimes the choice of who represents a certain way of acting seems unexpected. Perhaps there may be more subtle associations with certain characters in my dreams that I need to look into.

  • It’s too bad that fear prevented you from meeting your father’s ghost. I’ve had similar experiences where a (likely valuable) experience awaited me if I just did one thing, such as go into a room, but in the astral, I found myself doing just the opposite. While I do regret not having gained the experience, I wonder if perhaps my choice, maybe not entirely conscious, was what I was “going to do” regardless, and there could be a lesson in that. I wonder, but I don’t know.

    I do hope you’ll have another chance to connect with your father in the astral plane, Lucia.

    The experience of you sending love to your father in the ambulance, when you sensed him leaving his body, is very beautiful. Through your intense prayers, you must have also tapped into your higher faculties.

  • Thanks Lucia. When looking back after such an astral experience I think it’s easy to think of “I could’ve done this or that”, but I think the emotions and feelings you had in your experience are very understandable. I imagine such states might’ve also skewed your perception if you did go down the stairs? But yes I can imagine that the experience could potentially have been very different without fear… Good lesson there.

    Like Laura mentioned I think when we sincerely pray like that I’ve also seen it will be answered. Though sometimes the answer or help doesn’t happen as I would’ve imagined, yet when looking back after some time it might be very obvious that it happened. Your experience and the chance you were given seem like such a testament to such a help.

    The scene at the ambulance is quite heartwarming. It would be great to have extrasensory faculties fully active and our consciousness clear of the subconscious and everything, in order to best experience such moments in life.

  • What a shame you weren’t able to use the astral experience with your father’s ghost better Lucia 🙁 It’s amazing though that the Divine did try to give you this one last chance to see him and learn something. It’s been my experience that intensive, sincere prayers that come from the heart never go unanswered.

    It was so wonderful to read how you felt your father’s consciousness being happy just as he had passed, and felt such strong love for him. This must have been very important and comforting for you in that situation.

    Thank you for sharing this very personal and touching account! I really like the photos too, nice energy 🙂

    • Hey Laura, a shame indeed! 🙁 The fear was really strong and took me totally by surprise as usually just knowing I am in the astral makes me feel very courageous (since I know nothing can hurt me physically there). I know now he moved on, and can only hope to maybe meet his essence/consciousness someday.

About Belsebuub

Mark (Belsebuub) is a British-born author. Belsebuub has written several books on OBEs and dreams. He withdrew from public life in 2010. Read more

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